48 Ways to Crack an Egg

Some levels of destruction defy all explanation, and are beyond the reach of verbal or written communication. This morning I awoke to just such a catastrophe. You'll know what I mean when you watch the video.

Rest assured that this video does not convey the entirety of the destruction. I was still half asleep while filming, and had not yet discovered some of the real treasures of their work, like this little gem:

By the end of the cleanup, we had discovered every possible place 48 eggs can be flung, 2 carrots (lightly gnawed), the remnants of a banana, and some empty butter wrappers in their room (if you watch the video again, you can play the "eye-spy" game to find everything) . If you are wondering where the butter inside the wrappers had gotten too, the answer is that a few hours ago I went to grab some USB cables from under my bed, and found an eewie-gooie ball of butter nestled into the carpet there. Lovely.

And the forecast for tomorrow? Cloudy with a chance of Salmonella. Gavin apparently ingested an unknown quantity of raw egg while frolicking. We know this only because his face was covered in crusted egg sprinkled with egg shell, and because about an hour into cleanup, he began puking up egg whites. I now know that the only thing worse than cleaning up egg, is cleaning up regurgitated egg. Does anyone know if it is illegal to put your kids to sleep in straight jackets?