Hurry Up and Wait

That's what we're doing this week. This past weekend, Gavin's doctor decided to try and expedite his checkout process to get him home by Tuesday (today). Things were going swimmingly for Gavin but Troy and I were struggling to keep our heads above water getting everything ready and just right for him to come home. Who knew we still had so much to do?! We had moved into the second to last phase before coming home when Gavin decided he'd had enough. All the back-to-back feedings had really pooped him out and he finally put his foot down about all this rushing around to get him out of the NICU. He decided to set his own pace regardless of what everyone else thought, and he's sticking to it. So, until our little man lets us know otherwise, we are back on the original schedule for him to come home sometime next week. Maybe he could sense that all the fantastic stuff he got from the shower this weekend (Thank you everybody!!!!) still hadn't found a home in our apartment and wanted to make sure things were in tip-top shape before gracing us with his permanent presence :)

2 Months!

I really can't believe it has been 2 months since Gavin was born and we took up residence in the NICU. To be honest, it has been a blur of events and non-events that seem to all run into one eternal day. It is strange to think that we are fast approaching life with Gavin outside the NICU, and I admit I am getting that "deer-in-the-headlights" feeling already :) All you mothers of 2 out there, fill me in on what has been most helpful for your sanity and maybe I can get through this without needed psychological intervention :) Ha ha!

Baby Face

We have always known that we have the greatest friends and family out there, but you have all really proven yourselves. Gavin is doing so well, and I'm convinced its because we have so many incredible people praying for him! Imagine what would happen if we turned you all loose on a problem like world peace! He is finally able to breathe on his own, without any respiratory assistance, and occasionally they will take off his canula so he can practice. The doctor says he still wants to have him on oxygen most of the time so he can focus his energy growing in other ways, but it is so good to see him without it on! Gavin has been gaining weight steadily, and has just started attempting breastfeeding. It takes preemies much longer to master breastfeeding than full term babies because their brains are still too immature to coordinate sucking, swallowing and breathing all at the same time, but he is doing really well so far. The doctor is so impressed with his progress that on Saturday he is moving him out of the Isolette and into an open bed. That is a huge step. He also said that if things continue going as well as they have been and Gavin can master breastfeeding, he may be able to come home in as little as 3 weeks (but no promises....)!

Happy Valentines Day!

Cupid is out of a job around our place! We have more love 'round here than we know what to do with! It's been pouring in non-stop for the last month and a half, and doesn't look like it'll be done any time soon. Well there's only one thing to do with so much love, and that's to pass it on. So to all our family and friends who have poured out their love to us, we're sending some of our own special brand right back atcha! Happy Valentines everyone, and don't forget to love somebody today!

Gavin Update: Our little fighter is still doing great! The neonatologists have asked his pediatrician to take over on his care (he is still in the NICU, but his pediatrician is calling the shots now) which is great because that means he is doing well enough that he doesn't need to be under as intense scrutiny. Yeah!

Happy Birthday Lil' Man!

Yesterday was Gavin's one month birthday, and he got the best present ever! He has been doing so well, and managing to stay fairly stable through most of his ups and downs that he has "graduated" to NICU Nursery B! It is a much smaller nursery across the hall from where he was before, and only houses about 10 babies (as opposed to the 30 or more in nursery A), and is only for babies who are doing really well! :) They also said that this weekend I get to try nursing him. For his birthday, the nurses at the NICU made him an adorable little sign with his picture on it (one of the nurses can do wonders with a camera and the crappy NICU lighting) and put a cute little outfit on him. We've had these little boxing gloves hanging on his isolette ever since they were given to us by Janean, and the nurses thought they were so cute they snapped some pictures of him with them. That's our little fighter! Happy Birthday Gavin!

p.s. As of Sunday, he weighed 3 lbs, 7 oz!

(Here he is, workin the camera with his GQ eyebrow!)

Cuddle Time

Now that we can hold Gavin, we get to do this thing called "Skin to Skin" or "Kangaroo Care." Essentially we put on a special kind of hospital gown, and then get Gavin down to his diaper and put him right on our chest. They say that this kind of care immediately stabilizes his heartbeat and other vitals and is extremely beneficial to his progress. I got to do this for the first time the other day and it was the most wonderful experience. It was the first time that I really felt like Gavin was my baby, and with a little effort I could almost pretend that we werent in the NICU, but at home, cuddling before bedtime. He has had another infection this last week and has been rather uncomfortable in his bed so it was great to just snuggle him and feel (for the first time) that my being there was making a difference in his getting better. So now I have a new thing to look forward to..... Cuddle Time!

At last!

Well, this weekend we finally got to hold Gavin! They practically put us in Hazmat suits to lessen the contamination factor, but it felt so good to hold him in my arms and see his little face up close. It was kind of awkward with all the wires and tubes but I'm sure we'll be old pros in a week or two. It was also a little weird to be holding MY baby and having another lady tell me what he likes and doesn't like. It's just like everything else in the NICU, you love it and hate it. I love that the nurses take such good care of Gavin and are so emotionally invested in his well-being, but I hate that he has other "mommies" that know him better than I do! Grrrr.... Oh well, all in good time, right? Oh, and a funny thing he is doing right now, he is temporarily back on the nasal C-Pap (the apnea type machine) and the air flow down his trachea from it makes him have tons of thick gooey spit. So a lot of times when he opens his mouth, the air from the c-pap blows out and blows these big bubbles out of his mouth! It is so funny to see this cute baby with bubbles coming out of his mouth :) Love my boy!

Crossing our Fingers

This is mostly to update everybody on Gavin, so it wont be long :) Gavin is doing SO good! After everything that happened last week, he is bouncing back better than anyone even thought possible, and we are crossing our fingers that things will stay that way. Saturday night they took him off of the ventilator and instead of putting him on the nasal c-pap (more or less a miniature sleep apnea type setup) and put him straight on a nasal cannula (the little under-the-nose tube thing you usually see people with). That is a huge step, since the next step after that is for him to be completely off respiratory assistance. They have upped his feedings and he is gaining weight. He now weighs in at 2 lbs 6 oz and is looking more like a real baby and less like ET every day :) They even have him bundled up in a blanket now and he looks so much more comfortable that way! As soon as Aliyah is not contagious anymore and Troy is over his sickness, we get to hold him!!!!!!!!! I can't wait!

Life is an occasion- Rise to it!

That is my favorite line from the movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium . Last night Troy could tell that I was feeling a little depressed (two days ago Aliyah came down with croupe and yesterday I was out of commission with a breast infection) and since Aliyah was being taken care of by my wonderful mother-in-law so I could take it easy, he took me out to a movie. This movie was exactly what I needed- a story about magic and joy and believing in yourself- needless to say, I loved it. So, if you're in the mood for some fantastic nonsense and the deeper meanings of Mr. Magorium's babblings, this is the flick for you.

Gavin Update: Well, it looks like we've come back up on our medical roller coaster ride! Gavin has demonstrated no signs of the level of illness he should have from the ecoli, and that has led the doctors to believe that his blood sample may have been contaminated somehow in the testing process (in other words, they DON'T think he has ecoli). They are treating him for it anyway, but he does not appear to be sick. He is on two antibiotics for the pneumonia and is doing so well that they are having a hard time finding any traces of it in his fluids. He does still have a lot of fluid in his lungs so they are not going to take him off the ventilator just yet, but once again they are telling us that his progress through all of this is remarkable. He really is our little fighter! (Thanks for the baby boxing gloves Janean!)

Our first step back

Well, after more than a week of nothing but progress, we have finally taken our first step back. Yesterday while we visited, Gavin seemed uncomfortable and was fidgety and grouchy. Then when I was with him last night, his oxygen levels dropped precariously and after testing some other options, they finally switched him back to the ventilator. His little upset body seemed to relax after that, and we had been expecting to go back and forth on the ventilator so we weren't too worried and called it a night. Unfortunately, the actual problem was a little bit more serious than we realized. His pic line is a line that goes in through his hand and up his arm into a vessel just above his heart. For an unknown reason, the pic had either punctured or ruptured the vessel and the fluid that was supposed to be going through the vessel had begun to fill the cavity surrounding his lungs. Once that was discovered, they removed the pic and used a needle and syringe to extract the fluid from his chest. He is recovering well from the incident, but they let us know that it would take about a week for his body to really recuperate from the overall trauma. It is a little daunting that a week of progress can be so quickly undone in one day, but we knew that this is how it would be so we just keep plugging along through the ups and downs. When all is said and done, we just have to count our blessings and hope for a better day tomorrow! :)

Seeing Clearly

I am home from the hospital now, and while it was nice to see the outside of the hospital for the first time since Christmas, it was the strangest feeling to walk out of those doors with all our bags and no baby. I couldn't help but remember all the excitement and to-do when we came home after Aliyah. I know it's useless to compare, but if it hadn't been for both of our families being there to welcome us home (and surprise me with a newly remodeled apartment-more details to come) I think I would have cried all night to think of us being home and him being there.
In the random, quiet moments where I've been able to just sit and try to absorb everything past, present, and future, I've come to terms with one very important thing. I realized that my whole life I have lived under an illusion that has made life "easier" and more difficult in many ways. The illusion is this: That since I know God wants me to be happy, I have a justifiable right to expect health, happiness, and prosperity from the world around me. The Truth? God wants me to find happiness in HIM, through the life I have been sent here to experience.
The reality of the matter is that Gavin is no different from Aliyah. There are no guarantees, only that regardless of what tomorrow brings, the Lord will be by our side. We must treasure, and be grateful for what we have today and work hard to abandon the illusion that keeps us from embracing the true source of our strength. We are still scared out of our skin for what the future could hold for our son, but we have been filled with such peace and assurance through so much prayer (ours and all of yours) that there is no doubt in our minds that regardless of what comes our way, everything will be alright. And that helps us see things just a little more clearly.

Gavin Update: Good news! He is officially off the ventilator and can have one of those little nose oxygen thingys now. He is also done with photo therapy (for jaundice) and shows no signs of infection so they are taking him off antibiotics. He is set to have an echocardiogram (heart scan) today to check and see if his ticker has closed off the hole that babies use in the womb. If not, he'll start medication for that soon. The main concern is still that his brain will continue to develop without any bleeding, so we pray for that. Over and out!

A Thousand Words

Troy & Gavin

To put size into perspective, that is a

Bandaid wrapped around his right arm

His first bath- and boy is he mad :)

Gavin's new home

Gavin Richardson

Born January 5, 2008

4:50 pm

2 lbs, 1 oz

Update: While the doctors and nurses in the NICU are very careful to remind us that we are far from being in the clear, we are told time and time again that he is doing unusually well for a baby of his size and age. He had an ultrasound on his brain today to check for bleeding or other damage (from the accident or delivery) and we were so relieved when they let us know that they found no sign of either. Again, they reminded us that some problems cannot be seen until they show up developmentally later on, but every test that comes back positive is a very good sign. Like his sister, he seems to be a Richardson through and through because he is so energetic and wiggly that they have had to sedate him twice to keep him from accidentally pulling out his tubes with all his movement. It's hard not being able to hold him or even really touch him, but our gratitude at his being alive outweighs our dissappointment. We are so grateful for the amazing technology and staff that make it possible for him to have a chance at life, and we feel so much peace knowing that he is well taken care of in the Lord's hands.

Its a Boy

As you know Melissa was having contractions all day about 10-15 min apart and then about 4:30 I was sitting in the foyer with some family and her mom went and checked on her, we were taking turns checking on her every 10 min or so while she slept. All of the sudden she ran out saying she was about to have the baby, so we ran in and her contractions were really big and the baby was “ready plus 2” what ever that meant. The nurses threw me a robe and a cap and said were going into the O.R. and they wheeled her bed in to the O.R. and waited 10 min for the doctor to get there while they gave her an epidural. The doctor came in and checked the baby and his head was about coming out, so they told her to push and the baby came out in 2 pushes because he was so small. Time 4:55. I cut the umbilical and they handed the baby off to some specialist to keep him alive. They had to do a lot of stuff to our little boy to help him breath and control his heart rate and who knows what ever all the other tubes were that they had around him or in him to help out.
He weighed in around 1lb 15oz very small and stabilized very quickly. They took him in to the newborn I.C.U. and hooked him up to about 5 machines and in an incubator where he will more than likely have to stay in until his due date which is April 6th All the doctors say he is doing so good and looks really good as well. They did talk to us about risks that he can face which isn’t a low possibility so that is our biggest worry right now. We hope that he can stay healthy and not have any permanent damages. First 3 days are the most critical.
Melissa is doing so great and is recovering perfectly so we ask those praying for us to pray for our little Boy which finally got a name. GAVIN. No middle name yet.
Thanks every one for your cares and prayers we really appreciate it.
Troy and Melissa

A Turn of Events

Well, Late last night Melissa started having abdominal pains to the point she couldn’t sleep. Then this morning those pains became a lot stronger and we were able to see that they were contractions, so they did try to give her a medication to slow down the contractions, but it was not working. After a few hours of these contractions the doctor told us that her body was going into labor and it would be to dangerous to stop the labor incase it was infection or a few other factors. So we just got the word from the doctor that she is 99% sure that she is going to deliver today. With every contraction the baby’s heart rate is dropping from 150 beats per min to 55 beats per min. She is having contractions every 15min and they are not sure if she is dilating, they don’t want to check her it could raise the risk of infection, if she decides to stop going into labor. So now we are just waiting for the labor to progress to a point where she still might be able to deliver the baby vaginally and not do a C-section. But if the heart rate is continually dropping like this they will probably do a C-section.
So those of you praying for us have a prayer for the baby now because he will not be in Melissa much longer and that increases his chances of having permanent damages at this young of age.
We will update if anything else big happens or when the baby comes thanks for your prayers.
Troy and Melissa